how i wished i didn't know you, it's becomed easier to dismiss these feelings but still it's hard to let go. how easy it seems that i have been led to believe that it was all i wanted. i should cut off all ties and spare the cord. still i am reluctant to do so, for fear that if i did, i would be making a huge mistake, so i hang on foolishly. it helps no one.

i want to love with wild abandon
i want to be careless with my words
i don't want to be restricted by boundaires
i long for a sauvage connection
i long to run away with one man
into the darkness
i long to make myself small
and nest my wings in his palms
i am longing....
are u the one Z?

how foolish of me to think that he could be loving me, he could not be seduced by anything other than the temperance of need. it was from sex to next in the blink of an eye.
so much for my happy ending.